Mixed feelings

Wow! Sometimes we come upon us that make us think or feel without expecting it to happen. I was reading a friend of my fiance's blog.It gave me very mixed feelings.It was on marriage and divorce and how God wants us to remain together once we make this commitment.Yet often that isn't how it works out.I did marry and part.It was the hardest thing ever for me to do.I too wanted to stay together forever and be as one for my kids.But circumstances made the need for me to go sssooo much greater than those to stay.But the reason for my mixed feelings was not only from this.It is from the wonderful miracle that God has blessed me with.He did not smite me down for the mistake I made at all.But instead for some reason he gave me the most incredible miracle.A man so loving and caring and amazing,and the chance to marry my best friend,soulmate and love.Had I only met him sooner we may have both had the chance to keep our promisses to us and to God.For he too,not by his doing,had a failed attempt at marriage.But my blessing of my kids can't be overlooked either.I wouldn't trade them for the world!So in that part not all was lost in my first marriage.But to have the chance to wed again ,this time in a church with God standing over us,I know I will remain with my true love til the end of time.As a very wise man once said"God needed to shape us into the people we are in order for us to be who we are for each other"(i know my wording isn't exactly on but you get the idea.lol)And I get the extreme pleasure of becoming this wise mans wife!
I took no offense from this other blog at all it just made me think and had the need to put out some thoughts.

Mixed feelings(full circle)
Happy,full of dreams,loving life and where you are.
Confusion sets in,troubles abound,tempers flare.
Alone,sad,empty,wanting to run,yet no where to go.
Walls are up,heart is broken,tears flow.
Then need,want and desire to be released from this pain.
Scared,unsure,insecure ,it happens you flee to be free.
Really alone,on your own,feeling helpless yet finding peace.
Finding peace within,happiness begins to return,life begins again.
Spreading wings,opening doors,finding out that there is life out there.
Again uncertain,yet full of anticipation for the next turn.
Then suddenly love is found,heart opens,walls are gone.
Happiness abound,smiling at every turn til cheaks hurt.
Heart feels more joy than ever thought possible.
Tears flow in awe of the miracle recieved as the heart overflows with joy.
You look around to see if things are real.Pinch yourself.
A second chance.Determination to make things work,yet incorporate the
old with the new.Join two lives to one,and then add 3.
Oh such mixed feelings we feel.
But we seem to come full circle at times.
For again I am...
Happy,full of dreams,loving life and where I am.

I thank God daily for this blessing of a second chance at happiness.For "to love is to see a glimps of heaven".