Wedding day draws nearer...

Its hard to believe we are finally at 66 days til the wedding!It still seems so very far away yet when I think of things yet to do it is finally coming faster.Dresses to finish,flowers to fix(malfunction on those),still bowls to starch and decorate,music to prep(songs picked at least),liscence to buy,sitter to find for kids after,the list goes on lol.And most importantly CLEAN MY HOUSE AND YARD!!!!!!!! That could take the full two months.lol.(Actually could cry over that one)I am so frustrated with my weight.I so wanted to lose before my dress fitting,but Steve and I found this rolo desert!OMG!And I'm not supposed to eat it being diabetic but if we share it, it doesn't count right?!Somehow I think thats just a delusion I have on that issue.At least thats what my hips are telling me too.Loud and clear!But I do have a few more weeks.I can hope and pray...and jock out!!!God helps those who helps them selves so I'd better quit hoping for a miracle on that one and get the lead out!
And the greatest thing through all of this is most people that I've seen argue and bicker...we still haven't...not even over wedding stuff.And Steve is in there like a dirty shirt maybe even more so than me.Picked the music,booked the church,even picked the maid of honors dress material.And guys don't laugh...he's picked out things I agree with...impressive in my books.And just for the record...he's still all man ...rrrrr...rrrr...rrrr.Or however you spell the tool man sound lol.
I should be in bed as usual.I get thinking of my sweety and things to come and I find myself awake and loving the thought of Steve finally moving here and no more lonely longing empty nights.Or days for that matter.Thank the Lord and man he used to help create phones,computers and cell phones.Not to mention cars and snail mail (thank goodness we haven't needed).

(untitled thoughts)
Making lists.
Trying to prioritize.
Not knowing were to start.
Overwhelmed.
Lazy.
Frustrated.
Wanting help.
Yet knowing its things I need to do myself.
I pray for strength.
I pray for energy.
I pray for survival.
Knowing in the end it is for one main goal.
To prepair for my one and only.
To begin our life together.
To start fresh and anew.
Wow...to be here...who ever knew!?


My back has finally let up a bit ,meds have kicked in,but it is time to put me to bed.Early morning and long day ahead.God bless.And good night.

Empty...

Some nights just seem empty and alone.I find myself in front of the computer.My back aches so much it is almost unbearable...medication only seems to slightly help.I had written so much more,but I deleted.Just a few thoughts before bed...

The desent...
Alone I sit thinking.
Pondering.
Questioning.
There are no quick answers.
Only more questions.
No quick fixes.
Just me and my thoughts,
lingering endlessly in my mind.
They multiply...the more I sit the more I think.
Still no conclusions.
My mind races til I grow weary.
Then a release.
Tears flow.
They make their desent then dry.

I thought of deleting yet again,but this is me and how I am feeling at the moment...without airing all that is.After all a blog is thoughts and words right?No need to comment on this blog posting,it was written for me.

Pinch me...I think I'm dreaming!

Someone please pinch me!I can't help but think at times that I must be dreaming.I met the most incredible man ever.And he loves me.Yes!Me!
Our wedding day is finally drawing nearer.94 sleeps to be exact.However I am in complete awe.We have had serious talks,laughed,loved,cried.Basically anything you can imagine that people do as a couple.The most amazing part though is it is all done while loving and caring and never a harsh word...tiff...nothing.That is the miracle part of us.We both know its bound to happen someday.But you know...we are so strong as a team and have such a strong friendship...it won't matter.It's like we can survive anything the world throws at us.BRING IT!
I've never encountered a love like this before.I've heard of it...seen glimpses of it...I've even dreamed of it.But to feel it and live it.Wow!So awsome,inspiring and precious.Something to be thankful for for the rest of my life.Someone to be thankful for for the rest of my life.To incorporate this incredible man...join him with me... my boys...my family...to join his family...what a gift.
I find myself often losing sleep...staying awake just to pray in thanks for this miracle from heaven.Actually...DON"T pinch me.I NEVER want to wake from this dream!

Am I awake or dreaming?
A man appears...tall,flowing hair,kind
sparkling eyes,smile big and playful and directed at me.
Am I awake or dreaming?
A kind heart,generous spirit,funloving soul,God loving and
can talk up a storm.Open to listening and really hears.
Am I awake or dreaming?
Like past lovers or friends.We say the same things.Always
on the same page,finishing sentences and beliefs so entwinded.
Am I awake or dreaming?
As he holds out is strong hands to take in mine my breath catches
as does his.The eyes say it all.We both felt love at first sight.
Am I awake or dreaming?
The love so pure,so thoughtless,so natural.Flowing like a river
with no boundaries.It travels to the ocean.No limits.No fears.
Am I awake or dreaming?
Love and hearts once tarnished now full ,new and alive.
We plan our lives together to the ends of time.
No walls,no regrets,no turning back.
Just forward in time on our journey so devine.
Am I awake?
I'm not sure.
Am I dreaming?
I must be because I'm floating on cloud nine.

So as I said....PLEASE DON"T PINCH ME!I never want to wake.I'll follow this man forever even through God's pearly gates.He is my heaven on earth.My dream.My world.My soulmate .My friend.My fairytale love right here now before me.My prince.My true love.My only.Now just to make sure from my heart to his...that I make him as complete as he has me .